I think I'll follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
I hope to find my place
So my life can fall in place
I know in time I'll find my place
In the greater scheme of things

Saturday, September 19, 2009

sLuOmVmEerORmaybeNOT

First he sang me this song

I heard them all sharing
this newfound conviction in them
Are you all they made you to be?
And just one more question
allow me this question
could you be MESIAH,
please be MESIAH to me..

(could you be messiah:garyV.)

i was willing to be his messiah: the healer of his wounded heart, the teacher of his confused mind, a friend to be with him and take his fears away.
he is a very serious intelligent gentleman. his smiles were so rare and i can barely feel his happiness: that reson made me want myself to make him smile or even laugh. i shared to him a part of my life especially the my corny jokes and forced him to atleast grin. we were enjoying every moment spared to us. every second counts.. i had been his messiah. or maybe not?, that im not sure of. but in my heart i feel joy.i can hardly expain what was the emotion.
he got into my life very fast. he was so easy to like. i smile all the time we were talking, i was laughing for his more-corny jokes than mine. and without him knowing he helped me get thru my heartbreak from my past.. he became my messiah.

but i stopped myself because of a reality that none of us can erase.
a reality more painful that made us want only friendship: a relationship that will last a lifetime..

and then he sang me this song:

In another lifetime
It would be forever
In another world
Where you and I
Could be together
In another set of chances
I’d take the one’s I’d missed
And make you mine
If only for a time
My life would matter
In another life
(in another lifetime:garyV.)

i did not know what to feel..
it was a very passionate song
that was the first time someone dedicated a song like that to me. after hearing the message, it felt like everything dated back from the moment we were sweet to each other.

i wished that the other lifetime is just one wake up later that tomorrow.

i wanted to spend the rest of the day with him, to watch the sun set together.

but then i remembered the bitter reality.

i cannot fall inlove with him.
im not supposed to.

and then i remembred my cruel past.
i dont want love.
it will just hurt you.

today, he remains a very special friend.
and when the schooldays are on, we wont see each other for a while, i'll probably miss him.
actually i will.
he already has a space in my heart and in my life.

*i will see you as i gaze up in the sky above. you will be the brightest star that i will glipmse every once in a while through the night.
*i will feel you in every drop of the tears from the sky.


You are my RAIN.

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