Laughter. Change. Cry. Life. Smile

I opened the wooden shiny medium sized door of our good-for-four apartment --and for a second of my day forget every nano-information ever given to us, ever punched up in our brain, and how dare us ever loose them—and step in in our mini-home far away from home, in the wondrous land of Bicolandia and hollowed ground of Bataan.

And I smiled…

I thought I jut entered EnchantedKingdom, or perhaps Disney Land, the happiest place on earth. I felt sudden bliss, forgot my misery and angst at school which have been pissing me off all throughout the day. I want to at least forget the university where we pay so expensively so that we could be all miserable in studying and at the end, miraculously pass. I want to be happy. I want joy.

And I thought…

I wish this would last a lifetime, like their board exam would forever be moved … and moved… and moved and my freshman year would forever be the same. How I long for the present to stay. I wish the present is the future and past is the present, so that I am always happy, always joyful. But I remembered, time never stops nor does it winds back.. I am such a fool to think that there wouldn’t be change. I remembered this once hating change so much. It was when, it was already time for us to turn back from our alma mater and face the new challenges of college. It was an almost-cloudy morning when we are to get our class cards, good moral certificates, NCAE results and all the paraphernalia that we might need upon enrolling to college. I never wanted to say goodbye for the last time, for those goodbyes won’t be the same way as we always does it every Friday afternoon, for we won’t be seeing each other for a very long time. I never wanted for us to separate. I never wanted to leave them. I never wanted change… then I forgot to laugh… I started to cry…

But I realized…

Change is impossible for an unchangeable.

So what there is change when our hearts are always unchangeable? Cope with what is the present and not think much about the future for we might too much worry for our lives in the future that we aren’t already living our lives at present.

So why cry if the change which made your tear fell unchangeable? I’d rather smile in that case.

And life continues…

After school, I stroll, pass pedestrians, eat with different people from different walks of life and I like it. It makes me feel one of each of them, co-student, co-thomasian, co-Filipino, and co-human. Everyday is a blessing, and seeing the way they smile, accentuates ‘blessing’ even more. I like smiling, I like showing every positive side of this creation, every beautiful thing visible and I never liked the negatives. Smiling is a sign of love, either ways different people understand what love means, it is smiling that emphasizes love. The more positive we see things, the more unchangeable our hearts become and the more joy and laughter we could offer the world, the less tears would be wasted.

eda -june 27, 2008

days waiting for my kuya's board exam result. final days at our pad.

first sem. first year.