This is our story.
How we met. The story from A to Z.
He was still in college, an active member of BPSU’s Campus Ministry, a youth who seek for God’s love, a young gentleman named Angelo Martin Españo. Bataeño. Lives in Orani. I call him Gelo. His name in my phonebook is _angelo. The first name one can retrieve if you press the arrow up.While I am Eda, second year high school student. An active altar server of our parish in Hermosa, an officer in my alma mater’s Campus Ministry and a youth just like Gelo who seek for God’s love. Our friendship started almost five years ago, the same year Father Soc was installed as bishop of the Diocese of Balanga.
I was very young then, I have a friendster account and until now I don’t know why I put my cell phone number in my profile there. Gelo observed that I was an altar server and he was amazed about it because I am a lady so he got my number and texted me. That was the seed of our friendship.
Because our bishop was a youthful pastor, there were so many programs and seminars for the youth in our diocese and we would always see each other around during those activities.
Gelo and Eda became good friends. We text each other that he became one of my most trusted friend. (I have only three trusted friends: Gelo, Jersey and Amiel. Both Jersey and Amiel are very busy with studying so I am always left with Gelo to tell everything to.) I tell him all my secrets. he knows everything that is happening in my life. He became part of my everyday living.
I remember this one night. I already forgot why I was alone in Balanga attending a Mass for Our Lady of Fatima who visited our diocese. I sent him a message saying that I was by myself and he responded. Gelo went with me, I think he left his colleague to come with me and after the mass we ate dinner. That was our first dinner together.
Gelo is the one whom I talk with almost all day. I tell him random things that are happening with and around me. When you see me at the middle of the day texting with a smile, expect that he is the man on the other end of the line. I think he is whom I say my last goodnight to at the end of my day most of the time.
Gelo knows everything about me. He knows me more than you do, I guess he knows me more that my father does and maybe he knows me more than I know myself. I like him. He is very easy to love and a jolly person to be with.
We share secrets. We have secrets. One of those is quite funny and I think is very okay to tell. We call father soc “Bamboo”. He told me that we should call him that way because of their song Halleluiah. Childish huh. :p
Gelo is my exceptionally special friend and I am finding it hard to describe how our relationship is. I can’t rearrange my alphabet nor can I pick the best words and create the best explanation on how our friendship is like. Basta I love Gelo as a very very special friend.
Nosebleed na nga ako dito kaiingles. aww.haha
Just last year, he suffered from lymphoma and started his chemotherapy to treat it. I was asking him if it was painful because people say that it is but he would always nod. Parang walang nangyayaring ganong. Normal pa din and buhay nya. Makulit pa din.
Naalala ko, ininggit ko pa sya last December noong Mt. Samat Trek kasi hindi sya makakapunta kasi may chemo daw sya. Niloko nya pa ako na mapapagod lang daw ako doon at itulog ko na lang yung gabi. Hayun, hindi rin ako nakapunta gaya nya kasi late ako. :p
Pag may problema ang isa sa amin, magtetext lang ang may kailangan ng kausap at all ears na ang isa. Doon nagsisimula ang conversation namin.
One afternoon, I was still on duty in the hospital where I am taking my internship course when he called my attention. April 3, 2009 around 4:00 pm. I responded secretly to his text because no cell phones are allowed during one’s shift.
He told me about his sickness. He told me that his lymphoma was reactivated and now he also has pneumonia. The moment his message sank within my being, fear ate me. I don’t know what to do, I can’t come home immediately to Bataan to hug him and say that everything will be okay. I was helpless. He was helpless. For the first time in five years, he told me words that I did not expect would come from someone like my Angelo.
We chatted for quite a long time that afternoon until evening. I tried changing the painful topic to funny ones to help him forget about the problem at hand. And I tried to bring up our usual conversation about anything under the sun. I remembered laughing at some of his messages even though deep within I am in pain and maybe, just maybe I made him laugh too.
I was lying in our sofa that evening and we were still talking about some things, when I fell asleep. Last text nya yata sa akin, sa aking pagkakaalala na pilit ko pa ring inaalaala hanggang ngayon ay “hehe”.
I was asleep in our sofa all night because nobody tired to wake me up to go to our bedroom. And then I woke up at around 5 in the morning. I have two messages. Both from “_angelo”.
The first message, sa akin ngang pagkakaalala ay “Hehe” yata. Inaalala ko pa rin hanggang ngayon at habang buhay ko yatang aalalahanin yon.
The second message is exactly this: (hindi ko pa rin kasi binubura at hindi ko alam kung buburahin ko ba) “We are very sad 2 inform u that gelo already passed away at 1am 2day.”
Heto na lang ang exact conversation namin ng kung sino man ang nasa kabilang linya noong alas singko ng madaling araw ng Sabado. Usapan ng mga pangalan na nakasave sa phonebook ko. Usapan nina “_angelo” at “eda”
_angelo: We are very sad 2 inform u that gelo already passed away at 1am 2day.
eda: Ha?
_angelo: Wla n po c gelo. Ate nya po ako.
eda: (nakalimutan ko na ang eksaktong sinabi ko pero parang ganito siguro yon) Ha? Paano ponangyari yon?
_angelo: Cardiac arrest po, aftr sufering frm pneumonia. Complication po ng lymphoma.
………… hindi ko na maalala ang huli kong sinabi. Bigla na lang nagising ang buong pagkatao ko. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa mga nabasa ko. Hindi ko matanggap. Hindi ako umiyak dahil hindi ako naniniwala. Ang laman ng utak ko, hangga’t hindi ko pa nakikita si Gelo ng personal ay hindi ako maniniwala.
The next thing I did was to plan when will I go home in Bataan to visit Gelo. I was thinking about many things the whole day. Around the afternoon I asked his ate, through Gelo’s phone number when will his funeral be and she told me that it was still indefinite because they were still waiting for Gelo’s kuya form states. So I waited. I thought that his wake would last though the entire Holy Week until the next week but suddenly Lesther, a seminarian from Orani told me that bishop soc would be the one who will preside Gelo’s funeral on Wednesday, a Holy Wednesday, April 8, 2009. I was shocked. It was a Sunday evening; I called Jersey my best friend who is also a seminarian from Orani to confirm. And he said YES. Without any thoughts I decided that I will come home to Bataan the next day, a Holy Monday to come, see and talk to Gelo personally. I went straight to Gelo’s wake after I dropped my things in our home. Renan accompanied me. He is my only common friend with Gelo.
When I got to his home for the first time: fear, extreme sadness, confusion, a little anger, denial, love other more feelings crawled within me. The first thing I did was to look for whose picture was printed in the tarpaulin hanging in front of their home saying: “In loving memory ….”
First sign: it was angelo’s name
Second Sign: There was this quote which Angelo loves to say. “Life it short, make the most of it.”
My last sign that everything is for real and that all is not a dream but a reality: His picture was in the banner hanging loosely in front of their home.
In loving memory of Angelo Martin Españo. “Life if short, make the most of it. -gelo” With his picture printed in it under the picture of the image of Our Lady of Fatima.
Grief, love, all of our memories and every single story ever told during our millions of conversations overflowed me. PAINFUL. VERY VERY PAINFUL.
I did not have the courage to look at him lying there in his death bed. I was afraid. I sill could not accept the fact.
And then Renan pulled me to his side for me to finally see Angelo, my dearest friend, dead.
I was in agony. Tears flowed unstoppably from my eyes that are looking at my ever loved Angelo. Renan could hear my sobs of defeat. Reality and change came in an agonizing manner again but this time worse or maybe worst.
All the time that I see him right where he was lying, my tears just can’t stop pouring. I went out of their home to calm myself down but still nothing changed. His ate went out and talked to us. And then his mom came too with his dad. They were shocked when I told them that I was the person whom Gelo was texting all afternoon until evening of Friday, the last hours of Gelo’s existence here on earth with us. They told me that Gelo really was texting all those time.
They asked me what our conversation was about and I told them, with the best of my memory what Gelo told me. They were shaken of some phrases I told them that Gelo told me. Even they can’t believe that it was Gelo who told me those words. We were crying while telling every bit of our last memories of Angelo that Friday afternoon until evening.
His family is very kind.
Buti na lang tinawag ako nung ate nya nung huling gabi ng lamay na pumasok daw ako sa bahay nila. Kundi nandoon lang ako sa labas at nakatitig sa picture ni Gelo. Ang bait talaga ng ate nya! Tapos umalis na din ako agad pagka Hello ko kay Gelo, sabi ko sa daddy nya na babalik din po ako. Bumalik naman ako, kaso hindi na ako nakapasok kasi nahihiya nanaman ako at naduduwag na din. Hehe kaya nandoon na lang ako sa labas ng bahay hanggang sa mapagod mkatatayo at umuwi na lang.
The next day was Holy Wednesay. The day of Gelo’s funeral. Bishop Soc was the one who presided the Mass. Ang daming nangyari mula pa lang sa simbahan hanggang sa lugar ng pinaglibingan. Tinawag pa ako ng ate nya noong buksang muli ang kabaong ni Gelo bago siya ibaon sa lupa. Mag bbye na daw ako kay Gelo sabay abot sa akin ng isang libro ni Gelo. Yun daw ang huling libro na binabasa ni Gelo, tapusin ko raw para sa kanila.
Marami pang ibang nangyari sa libing. Pati ako nagulat sa mga sumunod na nangyari. Sa huli, may ibinulong sa akin ang daddy nya na hinding hindi ko makakalimutan kahit kalian. Mas mabuting sa puso ko na lang itago ang alaala ng mga salita ng daddy nya.
Habang buhay kong mamahalin si Gelo. Habangbuhay kong aalagaan ang lahat ng alaalang nabuo sa limang taon naming pagkakaibigan, ang huling libro ni Gelo at ang mga salitang sinabi sa akin ng daddy nya noong hapon pagkatapos ibaon si Gelo sa ilalim ng lupang ating inaapakan.
Birthday na ni Gelo sa 22. 24 years old na sana sya.
heto naman ang kantang ipinakilala sa akin ni Gelo..paborito nya ito dati. tamang tama lang para sa kanya gayon..
I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.
Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.
The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, it makes true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.
So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.
Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
heto naman ang kanta nya sa akin dati:
You've been so kind and generous
I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness, I'm in debt to you
For your selflessness, my admiration
For everything you've done, you know I'm bound
I'm bound to thank you for it
La-la-la-la-la...
You've been so kind and generous
I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness, I'm in debt to you
And I never could have come, this far without you
For everything you've done, you know I'm bound
I'm bound to thank you for it
Oh, I want to thank you for so many gifts you gave
The love, the tenderness, I wanna thank you
I want to thank you for your generosity, the love
And the honesty that you gave me
I want to thank you show my gratitude
My love, and my respect for you, I want to thank you
Oh, I want to thank you, thank you; thank you, thank you
I want to thank you, thank you; thank you, thank you
...
miss na talaga kita.
ingat jan!
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