Four years, seven months, twenty five days.

I was very happy in the beginning that I never needed to speak to anybody about it, i was just high on love and life that I have no more time sharing it to other people.
Time pass by, life happens, things change.
It is very hard for me to accept the reality that im in doubt whether i am still happy in this relationship or not.
The last time i wrote something about love is when I was deeply sad about being alone all the time. I wanted to have a boyfriend then so that i can have a companion all the time, but why do i always choose the difficult people which equates to difficult relationships.
now i am in doubt: am i still happy? is it still worth it? do i still want this?

I always feel this way every time I am alone, which is ALL THE FUCKING TIME but when we are together, i come back to a world of happiness, a made up fantasy land.

By now, I should've accepted the fact that I will never be his priority, there there will always be people he loves more than me, but Im still in denial. im still dreaming.

am i still happy? is it still worth it? do i still want this?