ang bitin kong blog na emo

like a tree in the middle of a dessert, during the deep moments in the darkness of night the lonesome being emanates, loneliness creeps and emptiness cripples the already tired and weary physique.

night after night this feeling grows until the heart makes it part of its beating. night after night of lonesome loneliness and emptiness.

why these?
why thee?
no one knows. nobody even she herself.

about five years ago, she was the happiest lady, even though faced with a lot of adversities, optimism was her mindset. no problem could tear her delicate heart, no one could make her feel blue. the days when she was crazily in love with the omnipotent and benevolent Lord of lords. all was perfect, it felt like paradise here on earth until the day all of them were instructed to stop serving at the altar. she was sent off from her fountain of happiness, from her second family, from her life. ...serving at the Altar was her second self but it was taken away. all can do nothing but obey, obedience is one of their duties.
yes bishop, whatever you say.

and then little by little, inch by inch, time after time the happy smiling face, the flaming and burning love faded.

and then she went to college.

ang naglalagablab na pag-ibig ay natupok ng makamundong mga bagay mula sa kolehiyo, nakakabingi mula sa tawag ng Diyos. hanggang sa ang apoy na naging mahinang baga na lamang, konting kanti ay matutupok nang tuluyan.

hanggang doon nanatili ang lahat, isang maliit na ilaw ng baga sa kailalim-ilaliman ng kanyang puso. naghihintay ng bibig na iihip para tuluyang patayin o isang bibig na iihip upang lumagablab muli.

nagkaroon na siya ng mga kongkretong plano para sa kanyang buhay. hindi na doon kasama ang pagsagot sa tawag na kunwari'y hindi niya naririnig.

hanggang ginambala siyang muli ng munting sulo.
dumating na ang tao na umihip sa maliit na baga, hindi para ito'y patayin kundi para ito'y pagalabing muli.

ngayon siya na'y nalilito sapagkat may takot

for "the man"

i know that im not the most beautiful girl that you have met
i know that i am not your ideal girl
but there's one thing i am sure of,
i can be the one lady who will love you through thick and thin,
for richer or poorer,
in bad days or good...

when love made me fearful

its hard to accept but little by little i am realizing how much frightened i am to love again.

it feels like i have given all the love that i can possibly give to my one ex-boyfriend that i cant share love to other people anymore.

this is the weirdest feeling that i've ever felt in my entire life.

C .O . R . R . I . D . O . R

the corridor of happenstance
our own version of “Where amazing things happen”
it is here where we
…cry because of failing grade
…laugh because of perfect exam results
…fall in love
…mend our broken heart
…find new friends
…quarrel with fakers
it is along this corridor where we began dreaming
and it also this corridor who will witness us fulfill it.

muntik nang masabihan ng "HULI ka!"

she was walking along Dapitan a while ago when she thought of puffing a cigarette to ease her boredom but suddenly she remembered him.

three nights ago, at the same spot along Dapitan, she was about to buy a stick of marlboro lights but there were alot of people crowding the cigar stand so she had to wait, but she lost her patience and decided to buy in Antonio instead. when she was about to leave the cigar stand and involuntarily looked around, she saw him! to her astonishment, she walked fast and ignored him and his friend staring at him. she did not smoked from then on.

then she realized how he could change her by just a look in the eye.

he is the only man who can make her do bad habits and live a happy life.

:)