my Philosophy Professor's last paper work: discussHAPPINESS

It’s hard to define happiness when you aren’t happy at all.

I’ve been trying so hard to get some inspiration for this final paper in philosophy but I just can’t. I went partying at a disco house last Monday night just to be happy but still I am not.

I could vividly remember those days when people would describe me like this, “Ah si Eda, yung taga Hermosa na palaging nakangiti!” Those were some four years ago and I am missing the experience of a worry-free and sad-free loud laugh. I was still in high school then, a lot have changed for the past four years, now my friends (in college) would say I am an “Emo” girl. Well, they don’t know me and they don’t even care.

Now let me try to discuss what happiness is for me since I don't have a choice but to write something.

Happiness is when you wake up in the morning knowing that there is a prepared breakfast at your dining table, hot and ready for you to munch it all up. It is when you see a lot of unread messages at your cell phone telling you good night and good morning at the same time because you fell asleep talking to them all. It is when you see your ironed uniform hanging tightly at your cabinet ready for you to stain it with a lot of knowledge at school. It is when, before you stand up from bed, your mom greets you with a good morning kiss and hug. Happiness in the morning is when you wake up alive and ready to go for another day in your life, with everything set up for you by your mom, and your friends are waiting for you at school. Happiness in the morning is when you smile back at the bright sunlight whom is looking at you from his vast skyline. Happiness is when forget about our sad and nasty yesterday and move on and create a new beautiful day.

Happiness is when you go to school prepared for your quizzes or long exams or reports even though your eye bags are already hanging loosely from your bulging eyes because you have not had enough sleep from last night. It is when your friends, seatmates and / or random classmate greet you a warm good morning hug, or a chilling “good morning! Pakopya!” and you answer back “Good morning too! Wala pa din akong assignment, kokopya pa lang!” Happiness is when you see your crush staring at you and you crazily talk to your friends just to ignore him then after he pass by, you go oh so kilig. Happiness is when there are a lot of vacant places at your favorite or chosen restaurant or fast food chain for you to stuff you stomach full of foods and again sin, gluttony. Happiness is when you get to seat at the middle of the classroom, unseen and unsuspected of sleeping during discussion time. Happiness is when your project proposals get to be approved by your boss. It is also when there is not a single traffic on your way to and from school. Happiness is when you end your ordinary school day without any laboratory apparatus broken, without your ID being taken away from you by the guard or by the SWDB coordinator or without you failing any of your subjects. Happiness is obtained by breaking the rules sometimes and one day, you’ll realize that the day you became happy and laughed your stomach out was the day you became stupid.

Happiness is when your lover pulls up at your favorite coffee shop and surprises you with a white rose beside a cold cappuccino with a murmur of “I Love You hon.” It is when you get the chance to be together and wait for the sun to set at a beach or a mountain full of memories, just there, sitting beside each other, speechless of the beauty of Mother Earth and the romantic ambiance. It is when he picks you up at the bar when you are already drunk and helpless with your friends and is patiently talking to you until you reach home. Happiness is when you have this special person who cares about you so much, no matter what, in sickness and in health, in ugliness or in beautiful days, who accepts you just the way you are. Happiness is when you have someone to share it to.

Happiness is when you go home and enter your living room laughing because you hear people at your house telling corny jokes or banat lines with each other over and over again. It is when you get to sit in the couch, rest and hear you family members teasing each other. Happiness is when you see your refrigerator full of foods and soft drinks for you to sin again, gluttony. Happiness is when you get to spend the rest of your day with the people you love, family and friends, just being there, keeping company waiting anyone to think about gimmick time when the darkness comes.

Happiness is when you sleep at night, drunk or not, peacefully and is expecting the next day to be the same happy day again, and the next day too and the other day also and all the rest of your days. It is when you get to talk or text with your friends random crazy things until you fall asleep. It is when you are finally done with your report and you also already have memorized everything for the quiz the next day and are ready to shut your computer down and say good night to your facebook friends. Happiness is when finally sandman eats you up for you to rest and be charged and ready for another day to come. Happiness is when you are done chatting for the last time of the day to God and He says to you, “Good night my child.”

In a broader point of view, happiness is when you are emotionally, financially and spiritually stable and basically you are just waiting for your time of death to come. It is when you have your cute children, a handsome husband or a stunning wife, a huge house at a beautiful village, a car or two, a house maid and a regular job, ready anytime for a promotion at an international company. On the other hand, happiness can also be experienced in your simple home, sharing a diner and a TV station altogether with your husband or wife and your gang of children. Or happiness is when you finally have decided to give yourself fully to God and be a priest or a nun, serve His people in need. Happiness is being contented in what you have, even if it may not be the coolest car or the biggest house as long as you are with the people you want to be happy with, as long as your house is called a home.

Maybe happiness is these little things that make us want to live more, to be here on earth longer. But happiness is one thing which cannot be experienced alone. It needs to be shared. You can’t laugh alone in a place full of people, they will think you are crazy; neither can you be amazed at how wonderful everything is; people will think you are delusional nor can you be happy about the things you achieve, people might think you are one damn stubborn person.

Me? I’m not yet happy. College life is miserable for me. A lot of problems arise, they come and go while some never leave me alone and they make me sad.
I guess, I can only be fully happy when I already have surrendered my all to God Himself and the only reason I am living is to fulfill that dream. But it’s still a long road ahead and the path is crooked and rough. Change is a constant in our lifetime.

But one thing’s for sure, true happiness can never be bought or sold nor can it be replaced by any material thing here on earth and only with God can we experience it.

P.S. I’d be really happy if my professor would ace me in my philosophy class.
..diba sir ray ann? :D