like a tree in the middle of a dessert, during the deep moments in the darkness of night the lonesome being emanates, loneliness creeps and emptiness cripples the already tired and weary physique.
night after night this feeling grows until the heart makes it part of its beating. night after night of lonesome loneliness and emptiness.
why these?
why thee?
no one knows. nobody even she herself.
about five years ago, she was the happiest lady, even though faced with a lot of adversities, optimism was her mindset. no problem could tear her delicate heart, no one could make her feel blue. the days when she was crazily in love with the omnipotent and benevolent Lord of lords. all was perfect, it felt like paradise here on earth until the day all of them were instructed to stop serving at the altar. she was sent off from her fountain of happiness, from her second family, from her life. ...serving at the Altar was her second self but it was taken away. all can do nothing but obey, obedience is one of their duties.
yes bishop, whatever you say.
and then little by little, inch by inch, time after time the happy smiling face, the flaming and burning love faded.
and then she went to college.
ang naglalagablab na pag-ibig ay natupok ng makamundong mga bagay mula sa kolehiyo, nakakabingi mula sa tawag ng Diyos. hanggang sa ang apoy na naging mahinang baga na lamang, konting kanti ay matutupok nang tuluyan.
hanggang doon nanatili ang lahat, isang maliit na ilaw ng baga sa kailalim-ilaliman ng kanyang puso. naghihintay ng bibig na iihip para tuluyang patayin o isang bibig na iihip upang lumagablab muli.
nagkaroon na siya ng mga kongkretong plano para sa kanyang buhay. hindi na doon kasama ang pagsagot sa tawag na kunwari'y hindi niya naririnig.
hanggang ginambala siyang muli ng munting sulo.
dumating na ang tao na umihip sa maliit na baga, hindi para ito'y patayin kundi para ito'y pagalabing muli.
ngayon siya na'y nalilito sapagkat may takot
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