its really hard to have the feeling that you just cant really utter but if you have this hope that one day you will be able to say what you needed to say then the feeling will soften and life will go on as it is supposed to be.
love is twisted.
cupid sometimes play with our hearts . sometimes he just fail to hit that darn love arrow, but there will come a time he will hit it bull’s eye, we just have to wait. 
good things come to those who wait. if you are ment for each other, then whatever will come in between will not matter because at the end you will still be together.

Amore Prima

this is for the one man i have always wanted to be with, but because of very complicated complications, our future is really blurry.

Another World of Me

Numb as I possibly can. Let me not notice you

Let my eyes be far from your stare of thousand meanings

Yet, let not it be sole reason for you not to experience my marvel

I always miss you. I always wait for you

Forty-six hours feel like eternity…

Now is another lifetime

Unnoticed; this now is another world of my own

Stay in front of everybody and let loose of your words

Look me in the eye and illuminate my psyche

Come and edify me to embrace understanding

And after this now, do not leave elsewhere yet

Pause.

If in case I forget to bid goodbye, remind me

Be not like the ray of sunlight which can be seen seldomly

To glance is hard.

Coincidence would be great!

Corridors are our islets of happenstance.

And then I will miss you again

Confusing Addiction

Dashing through the corridor, I search for you

My darling, my morphine, my personal addiction

Hunting your bulgy eyes which sparkle like dew

Appear from nowhere and feed the thirst of my vision

I dress, I speak, I think, I live for your presence

Come and take my heart which beats for your essence

Love me, hate me, adore me or ignore me

Still faithfully until forever my heart is for thee

Albeit you having confusing actions

With you around life is always in proportions

Smile, be not a stranger, stay in front of me wholly

For it is you alone who takes away my melancholy

 Beloved Stranger

Roses are now red and violets are now blue

My life has been colorful all because of you

Every waking morning is an excitement

It is again with you I will share every moment

I love you. You love me. No one will ever be a replacement

To unbreak our love has become God’s commandment

Not until this very day I ever lived

For how can I exist when we are parted?

Be not far from my loving arms of embrace

Each day as you dash though the corridors of homage

I’m just there walking, wandering, waiting to see your grace

Come Mister Big and let me feel your love and patronage

And I hope this present will last until ever after

Madly, deeply, crazily in love with my favorite stranger

Stay. Don’t change. Don’t let loose. Adore me forever

My new lover. My yesterday’s _____________r.

Tainted First Love

You told me that you will be my knight and shining armor

Taught me how to love and be loved again

Appreciated my beauty and glamour

Even though I’m wounded from war and villain.

Months and months I felt thy love endlessly

Like how you promised to my heart purposefully

You became the sole ideal man I ever wanted

Until that night I never expected you, daunted.

I asked why but you never answered

So I thought it was as simple as counting one till one hundred

I was wrong together with all of my judgments and expectations

You were a jerk just like my friend’s descriptions.

My trust is what you have just spoiled

The only thing I could give to someone I adored

Forever I will care for you as pure as the purest dove

The man who tainted my first love.

[poisonIvy]

eda.maningat

bad dream

after our first Exam this morning, I went home to sleep a little before buying tickets for Equus.
I Woke up almost crying :(
my dream was so bad that i dont want to sleep ever again. :(
so here’s  the story:
it was a typical wednesday afternoon at school,i was walking through the corridors, reading some notes when my phone rang..
it was Git’s mom, she was  crying…
she told me that Gits died fifteen minuets ago because of heart attack. my jaw dropped in disbelief. i froze for a minuet and then rushed to their home to see him.
he was wearing a white shirt and a pair of jeans. his body was curled in a position that his head was almost touching his foot. maybe he was in severe pain.
..suddenly, as any dreams would always happen, i saw the past, during the attack.
he was alone in their living room,watching television, eating junkfoods when suddenly his chest started to tingle, as minuets pass by,the pain intensifies. he was shouting loudly but no one could hear him …and then the screaming vanished, his eyes shut, he was relieved, his heavy breathing stopped…he was dead.
i was crying (in my dream) all the while i was seeing how he yelled for help but nobody could hear him and all the while he was in intense pain and i can do nothing but watch.
i woke up when he was being transferred to a white bed…buti na lang nag alarm naang cellphone ko!
i was alone in our room and my vision was blurred of tears which just couldn’t fall.
i dont want to sleep again. so i left our room.
i wish i wont dream like this especially of him in it again. :(